


North Star

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Finding Home Away From Home (GQ/NB Dean Winchester with Shadow Moon Fics) [12]
Category: American Gods (TV), American Gods - Neil Gaiman, Gabriel (2007), Norse Religion & Lore, Once Upon a Time (TV), Peter Pan & Related Fandoms, Supernatural
Genre: Complete, Faeries - Freeform, Gen, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Dean, Queer Gen, Queer Shadow Moon, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sam Has Powers, Trans, Trans Character, Trans Dean, Trans Dean Winchester, showdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 16:05:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: It's showtime!(15/15 individual chapters - complete)





	North Star

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sirensnares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirensnares/gifts).



You fall forward. Every inch of you is screaming as if you’re being turned inside out. Then you do scream, for Shadow.

You can barely breathe but you scream his name. You need your friend close to you--what if--what if something--?

“Okay, I gotcha,” Shadow’s voice is coming from far away and you can see that he’s holding you but you can’t feel him as a solid person, not yet.

“Hurts…”

“Gabriel,” Jade is saying from just as far away, “You’ve got to be more gentle.”

Gabriel doesn’t answer. He shoots her a look back that says, you know this is business as usual.

“Can’t breathe.”

Shadow leans his forward in toward you. “Count with me. I gotcha.” He doesn’t so much as send Gabriel a frustrated look. Because he is Shadow and he is the nicest person you’ve ever met and he is holding on to you now.

“Cal--California--boy,” you force out between labored breaths.

“I am.” Then Shadow does turn to Gabriel. “So did it work?” Then back to you. “Did it work?”

“Need...couple minutes, hold on.”

“Okay, just breathe. Jesus. Just breathe.”

Half an hour later your breathing is still shallow but you’re more in your body. Actually, you may be more in your body than you have been in weeks, and okay, that is probably--possibly--good.

The kind of good that other people assume is good. You’re not so sure. 

But all the same…

“It’s...it’s quiet now.”

“That’s good,” Shadow says, squeezing your shoulder.

“I still know where he is. I think I’d have Peter Pan radar no matter what anyone does to me. But it’s quiet. It’s quiet now.”

“Good,” Jade says. She shoots Gabriel a look that’s visibly equal parts grateful and angry.

“I sense Sammael as well,” says Gabriel, and then goes quiet again.

“Share with the class?” Uriel asks in his usual takes-no-shit tone.

“I shall,” Gabriel replies, unphased. “When we are closer. We are headed in the right direction.”

“Well that sounds promising,” Shadow mutters.

“It’s showtime,” you get out between wheezes, and Shadow laughs. 

“Winchester...you are hysterical. I’m goin’ to hell.”

“You and me both.”

Shadow only laughs harder, a laughter with knowing sadness in it. “No gallows dirt, no gallows deals, no gallows humor.”

You’ve both been around the Norse too long.

 

*~*~*

You are getting closer to the House on the Rock. You’ve started to see signs for it, though it’s announced for miles around, as the saying goes.

You’re getting closer to whatever Wednesday--Odin--wants you to. Whatever he has waiting for you.

You’re also getting closer to Sam.

You know it. 

You know it in your bones.

So this is the way it’s going to be.

The van is full. Raphael and Ithuriel are here with you now. Raphael was in worse shape than you when the van stopped for him. There’s a woman named Maggie here too who won’t leave his side.

At least a few of you have a fighting chance. And several even have Sam Lojack, so that’s a thing too, apparently.

Now it’s a matter of who hunts who.

There’s a lump in your throat and adrenaline in your veins. Something is coming. Something big.

Bigger than just this hunt.

And you don’t want to lose. You have so much to lose right now.

You don’t care how it looks--when you get within ten miles of The House on the Rock you take Shadow’s hand and he squeezes yours back and--yeah. That’s good. That’s just good.

You don’t want to leave him. You don’t want anything to get between you. You search his face and hope that he knows what you mean. It seems like what you need is mirrored back at you, but you hope that isn’t just wishful thinking.

Then he says something for the first time in five miles.

“No matter what, Winchester. I gotcha.”

And that’s okay too. More than Sam has ever given you. And it’s enough.

*~*~*

There is an eerie quiet when you arrive at The House.

Sure, people are coming and going, but it’s almost like they don’t see your van or anyone who gets in or out of it.

Neat trick.

Then you start to notice there are others your eye is just--skittering off of, slipping over.

Suddenly the eerie quiet that descended after Gabriel did his thing is starting to make you a little nervous.

Where is Sam?

Then you see the people you are supposed to be with. 

You would recognize your Father a million miles away, and it’s not by sight.

It’s Belief.

 _Odin_.

He looks up at you and he is not in a mirror.

He is not in a mirror.

Your heart is thundering and you take off at a run, not caring what anyone sees or doesn’t see.

“Allfather.”

“Hello, Winchester,” he says, gruff and gravel-y and as if he’s been privy to your every conversation.

Because he has. You know he has.

And then you are kneeling on the ground.

He smiles a thin smile. “Stand. Before you go inside I have something for you.”

You would recognize the bottle of mead anywhere.

“I drink this gladly,” you say, and his eyes aren’t exactly gentle but they are knowing. This is the perfect time.

Odin leads you to a picnic table that seems to have almost just materialized. “Yes. Good. Drink.”

“It is so good to see you.”

“Indeed, my dear.”

“Thank you.”

“I would never have let what is coming fall squarely upon your shoulders,” Odin says. “There is hope yet. There is always hope, even in the midst of war.”

Shadow comes up behind you. “Winchester has already been fighting bravely,” he says.

“This I do know. Both of you, come inside. The inner sanctum is neutral ground and there we will prepare. There are people for you to meet.”

*~*~*

Inside, Shadow breaks into a grin. “Anansi,” he says, and a man in a multicolored suit seems to peel away from the wall.

“Hello, my children,” Anansi says. “If there is one thing for you to remember today and at all other times, it is this.” He is clasping the hands of people as they enter the room, the room full of gods.

He clasps your hand. “Angry. Gets. Shit. Done.” 

And…

You are five. You tell Sam NO. His mobile spins and spins until it falls off the ceiling. And. You. Don’t. Care.

You are ten. When you don’t know how to make Sam’s split knee stop hurting he screams until the neighbors hang on the wall. And you’re angry. And you don’t care--you can’t.

You are six. When Sam is eating cup o’ noodles and you’re drinking water, water, water, you fall asleep crying--and angry.

When you walk out on both of them, when you remember that you are worth school and clothes and shoes and more in your life than just the empty road forever, your body is singing with anger because they have asked the impossible but they have not won.

When you are typing application essays in the library you are tired and angry but going to do it.

When you see someone shove Shadow in line at school he doesn’t say anything but you are angry and while you’re nervous you know that’s the moment you will become his best friend.

And now. You see the gods milling past you and the fire lighting in their eyes as they each stop with Anansi--Mr. Nancy--Anansi.

And when the fire comes today it will be against a thousand angry gods. 

And when you are separated from Shadow you will be angry but you will understand. You have always come to Odin through different paths and so it will continue. So it will continue.

You will leave differently than you came, finding your way through doctor’s offices and forms and you will be angry. You will be tired and you will be angry. You will be far past ready and you will be angry. You will take your first hormones and you will be relieved and angry. 

You will move from Pride marches to burned out buildings and stand with the anarchists and you will be angry.

And it goes without saying that Shadow will save the world. You have every shred of faith in that.

*~*~*

The meeting ends almost as quickly as it began. And when you exit the hallowed grounds of The House on the Rock and you are swarmed, all of you are ready.

Gabriel and Jade stand beside you on your left and Shadow on your right and you are ready.

“--Sammael--”

“Peter, at last,” you spit and hope the wetness reaches his putrid green outfit.

“Mr. World,” Shadow growls.

Sam WInchester may have been expecting one army, but certainly never three united.

You close your eyes and feel them gathering around you, all of the faeries. The ones who whisper in the ears of people like you.

And Sam is gone like a wisp of air.

*~*~*

When it’s all over you fall back into the very back of Betty. Maggie drives while you and the angels sleep the sleep of those who are completely spent. Shadow isn’t with you, and you don’t really want to deal with the world on your own right now, so you sleep.

You spend the next two weeks like that, but then you hear Mr. Nancy’s voice on the wind. Angry gets shit done. You remember you have things to do and people to fight for, including yourself.

“When Shadow can come home, he will.”

You aren’t sure who that is at first but then you smile. It doesn’t matter much--it’s coming from the north and that’s all you need to know. 

The wind doesn’t lie to you. It never has.

In the end you do it all--everything Anansi promised you would do, and more.

North. Soon you’ll be going north.

But not before--

“Winchester!” somebody shouts--your favorite somebody on the planet.

And if he’s been gone a while, well, the less said about it the better.

Time doesn’t mean much to you anymore, anyway.

You wrap him in a hug and all the time you’ve been apart collapses around you.

“Hey, California boy,” you say.

He laughs, warm and full. “You’re lookin’ good. You’re lookin’ like yourself.”

“And you saved the world. All so you could see me, right?”

“If you insist.”

You both laugh, gallows humor laughter.

“Listen, seriously--I wanna get out of here. I….”

“...wanna go home,” you say.

“Yeah. And I wasn’t goin’ anywhere, not without you.”

“Ditto, buddy.”

“Yeah, ditto.”

You both smile, tired but satisfied.

“Let’s head north.”

**Author's Note:**

> Book 2 begins here.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/11577768/chapters/26016576


End file.
